I ask a lot of my family and friends.

I ask them to pose in good light in the middle of conversations.

I ask them to wake up at 5am for those poses.

I ask them to spend money to go on random meditation retreats.

Among the many other asks, I ask them for their shoulders when I need support.

They always warmly greet my asks and knee-jerk ideas on a spectrum glittered with optimism and encouragement. They rarely ever hesitate to listen or walk with me in guidance, and I’m so thankful for that.

If symbols are extensions of what we believe, I know, without a doubt from everything to celebrate me on Friday, I am deeply loved.

The last few weeks leading up to my 30th birthday I was colored by angst. *cue the tiny violin* I was fearful that my 20s had been void of any real meaning. I was convinced the world knew my goals and the world knew I wasn’t where I wanted to be. In my pool of self-doubt, my friends were plotting to show me exactly what the world, more specifically, the people that matter, felt about me.

For months my friends rattled through details and planning processes to surprise the hell out of me, in celebration of what I believed to be failure.

Cards from my co-workers, letters from my sisters, flowers from the Warrens, all the Facebook messages and texts, gifts from Boodad and the most amazing surprise party I could’ve asked for (with French Toast and Mozzarella sticks.) I feel so damn loved and supported as a whole person.

There are no pictures of the things that happened during my 30th and I’m thankful for that. That day and those memories are mine to share with the people that made it memorable.

To Joana, Ashley, Brittany, Cara, Megan, Shelbi, my NOHD family, my siblings and parents and Boodad, I see you. Thank you for helping me see me.

To every single person that adds to my cup daily, I am beyond thankful, always.

I am loved by the most beautiful spirits. I hope you all see the creator working in me

Thank you x 100000000000 for riding with me and making 30 so damn poppin already.